Tapping on your Own Family

Is it possible to use tapping on your own family?

Many of us become tapping professionals, especially because we want to help those that we love, most notably our family. But to what extent is our family’s health our responsibility? In this short video, Master EFT Practitioner and Certifying Instructor Deborah Lindsey discusses a tragic loss in her own family offers insights gained from her personal experience.



Transcript: Tapping On Your Own Family

Everybody, Deborah Lindsey with online EMT certification, with my tips for professionals for this week. I wanted to talk about working on your family, so I know for a lot of us, the reason we become healers, me included, is that we really want to help heal our family. For me, it was all about my mom. And but later, you know, my actually had a sister come down with some combination of Lord knows what, she had every diagnosis under the book and under the Sun and eventually went on to commit suicide.

She had gotten so depressed, she was basically sitting in a chair in a basement room and no light. She just kept everything out and was on drugs. It was terrible, you know, and when she eventually committed suicide, we actually kind of agreed because there was no hope, there was no way out of this situation without a massive change of perspective on her part. And no matter what I did, I couldn’t help her, couldn’t help her.

I would try to talk to her and offer to tap. I would offer a perspective, changing whatever. And interestingly, one of her final posts on Facebook was actually talking about me. Ha, ha. My sister’s really into alternative health care. Ha haha. And it was, you know, really an insult to me. And, you know, for all of us who go into this with the intention of caring for people that we love and helping people that we love, those kinds of decisions of when to walk away and let it and let it be, rather than trying to solve it for someone else, can be massive.

In my case, I come from a family of people who are just always sick, always sick. And I used to go home and I would go armed with my tools to help everybody get better. And one day somebody said to me, your job is not to be their doctor, your job is to be their daughter. And in the case of my sister, my job was to be her sister and to help in every way I can.

But when you start working with family, it has a very uncommon dynamic that you don’t get with anyone else. You know their stuff in a way that they know that no one else does. But also you don’t know their stuff in a way that that other people might, because there’s a there is a dynamic to family that, for instance, working with my mom, my mom’s like I’ve taught me some stuff about her life. I don’t want her to.

And there are some things I’m not going to tell my mom about my life. And I don’t want her to and I don’t want to. And that’s part of the family dynamic. Now, different families are different. This was just my family, but I find that working with family is one of the most difficult experiences that you can have. And it makes a whole lot more sense to refer them to a professional to get some help or, you know, if you’re in the class, refer them to someone in the class to work on because it can beat you up pretty, pretty hard.

And like most things with the left, you have to learn. You have to learn that you can’t fix the world. You do a lot. You know, if you’re out there working as a professional, you’re helping a lot of people and you’re changing the world a little bit with each client. But you can’t fix everything for everyone every time. And oftentimes the family is where that line is drawn. Your own kids, your own, your own husband, your own mom, and dad, you know, so you got to learn how to forgive yourself, walk away, refer them.

And if and when they’re ready, they’ll find they’ll find the help they need. So I hope that’s helpful. I find that you know, this happens across the board with people that they really want to heal. Family, but families, the hardest ones to heal, at least one on one. So it’s just like you can’t always heal yourself and stuff. You can’t always get your family stuff either. And at the end of the day, guys, listen, none of us cheat death.

No matter how good we are at this, we might help make people healthier. But at the end of the day, none of us cheat death. It isn’t going to keep you from dying. It’s going to keep me from dying. It’s not going to keep my parents from dying. It’s not going to keep my sister from dying. So part of our work and it is learning how to. OK, with that, I hope that helps. All right, bye, guys.



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  1. Åsa, Sweden says:

    Thank you Deborah, it was very good and I needed that, because I am not on talking terms with my children. And of cause I want to help them. Now I have closed there appearense on my face book site, so that I don’t need to help them every time I see their names. Thank you.

  2. Barbara Stewart says:

    Deborah, first I want to extend my condolences and compassion to you. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my brother to suicide and almost lost my son, but he was able to shift his perspective at precisely the moment of truth. It was a gift to both his older brother and me to be present at that moment. I will never forget it.

    Thank you for sharing your wisdom in the face of such deep sadness. I identify with your statement that many of us want most to help heal those we love. It has been humbling to learn as a mother that I cannot change the journeys (or choices) of my adult children but at times, I still try.

    My mom used to say that I was born wanting to save the world and although I know on a conscious level that I cannot, I sometimes find myself wanting to do just that! I am certain that your words will resonate often in my heart as I share the healing power of EFT.
    Love and gratitude,

  3. First off I would like to say sorry for your loss Deborah, it hard to lose someone you love, especially family, and it’s even harder when they don’t want to be helped, because it can leave you feeling helpless.

    Your post is full of so many messages and important information. I won’t address them all, but I want to say is that is so true what you said about family, but I think it also goes for all people, in the sense that we never truly and fully know anyone, unless they choose to show us all aspects of themselves, which I believe is very rare. And far as helping family in a professional capacity I think it is unwise, because there are so many different levels to the relationship and in the end I think it could get very messy and it could jeopadize and negatively impact the relationship, so I would always refer family out to collegues.

    Another point that I thought was important is knowing your own limits within the helping relationship, which for me means being as self aware as I can be and question myself periodically if I still feel I am able to help my client. I believe that if you know you are no longer being of service to them then it is time to refer them on to someone else, because as much as we would like to help eveyone we can’t help all the people all of the time.

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